The day after I published my last post I felt regret about calling "weed your soul garden" - this practice I embarked on - a cleanse. I wish there was another word, something bigger, less mundane. After I posted about the cleanse and talking about it in my classes, I heard from a few people about their thoughts. Each of them asked or commented on the food I was eating. Some of them thought they might follow along and a few felt aversion to the seeming "deprivation" of the cleanse. I struggled with this. With how to communicate the fullness of the practice.
About a week in to my "cleanse"- after several days of struggling with the food aspect of the cleanse - it struck me with such clarity ... I was beating myself up over the technicalities and missing the true intention of this practice. This is not a cleanse, it is not a renewal, it is the renewal of loving kindness towards myself.
What my heart really needs in to fall in love with myself. Why, at times, is it so hard to fall in love with ones self? The past 2 weeks I have failed miserably. I have used all of the tools I have to be kind to my body and mind but my spirit - my soul - has not felt nourished.
I use my dry brush and essential oils, I practice asana, I eat my big green salads and my body feels cared for and my mind is still. These are absolutely part of the process. But what about my spirit? At the end of the day my spirit still felt neglected. And, soul nurturing is what I was truly hoping for when I started Weed Your Soul Garden.
Ironically, over the past several months I have been struck many times with this message that I need to show myself love and compassion. My reaction has been "ya ya, I'll get to it when....". It's work for me and has taken a back seat to the rest of life's busy-ness for far too long. The lightning bolt in my heart has fired up and I realize that it isn't more work, it is THE WORK.
And so, the last 2 weeks have been the training ground. Now the real work begins. I will continue with all of the practices I started with a renewed intention.
The relationship we have with ourselves is the foundation of all the light we put out in the world.
It is the most important relationship one will ever have. It takes hard work and discipline to keep that soul love alive. You can't take it for granted and you have to nurture it everyday.This renewal process is a jumpstart but the real work isn't just 2 weeks or 30days. This is the work of a lifetime.
If you are like me and this is the kind of jumpstart you need then I encourage you to begin the work at this moment. Start with 2 weeks but don't let 2 weeks of renewal be a capsule, let it be training for the rest of your life. Carry on for as long it takes to turn loving kindness into a habit. Practice with discipline but mostly practice with the intention of feeding your spirit.
Loving kindness towards yourself is discipline not deprivation.